Tomorrow I start my new "job." It's not really a job, per say, it's volunteer work, but it's getting me out of the house. I don't think I've ever been so relieved to do something for free.

Since my last post, Bill and I decided that instead of expending so much energy on finding a job in a city where I'm such a small fish, why not volunteer all the time I'm virtually wasting? So, the same day I offered my admin and clerical services, I got a phone call back, taking me up on them. I'll be working with the Points of Light Foundation which is a parent organization that provides support for smaller volunteer organizations like the HandsOn Network. I'll be volunteering on an internal level in the POL Headquarters doing special projects.

Here's the cool part....by doing this and getting my foot in the door, I could apply for a paid position when one opens up or, I'd have a leg up on others when AmeriCorp positions open up. That would provide me with health insurance and non competitive status for Federal jobs for 1 year. I don't see any downsides here.

So I'm all syked up and doing stuff to get ready. Stuff like painting my toes and trying on my work clothes, etc. Holy shit! That 10lbs that crept up on me because I've been sporting my Adidas pants for the past 4 months and didn't realize my ass was getting fatter has caused my pants to not fit. It's so bad, even Bill who totally loves my big ass said "Your not going to wear those pants to work are you?" Burn.

Luckily, there's one or two pairs I can wear that aren't too horrendous and upon scoping the joint out on my interview, there were people wearing jeans and such. I should be okay.

Plan of action:

1. go back to eating half of what I would normally eat. That's how I lost all that weight before. Unless it's fruit or veggies, of course.
2. exercise. Get up out of bed at 6 am and go to the free gym that is about 50 yards away from my front door and use it, for 45 minutes each morning. Make sure I sweat and can't sing along to my ipod; that way I know I'm working hard enough.
3. No snacking. I stopped snacking the first time I lost weight.
4. No more food after dinner. That worked for me last time too.

I think that just by being out of the house and away from the kitchen all day will help tremendously.

Oh, to add insult to injury, I'm insanely bloated. I can honestly say, without a doubt, that I totally hate you Mother Nature. Bish.

I can not stress how happy I am to be getting out of this apartment. I really hope POL needs me 5 days a week. Gotta go, laundry to do and dinner to cook.

Keep in touch

At the request, and altogether genius idea I might add, of Nikki, I am going to start updating my Blog (again) on a regular basis. Nikki says it's so she can keep up to date on what's going on with me since I moved to Atlanta and so she can get her "Tracy Fix." That makes me smile and gives me warm fuzzies that somebody needs a Tracy Fix.



Here's a brief synopsis of how I ended up in Atlanta for anyone who is reading and not openly following (make yourself known, don't stalk!). In March, I had a job that I had potential at, but was so burnt out at, I could barely face another day and I was taking the final 12 credits for my AAS as a Paralegal. Bill and I were tired of dating LD as we had been for a year so we decided it was best for us for me to move because he liked his job. So, surprisingly, my family was into it so I did it. I quit, moved Atlanta and finished the semester down here (all my classes just so happened to be online).



Now, four months later, I'm having many interpersonal struggles with my new leaf that I have turned. Let's get the negatives out of the way, shall we? The positives far outweigh the negatives so I'll just give them to you straight. Despite my constant resume tweaking, rewriting, re-doing and reformatting, I can not find a job. I am very very upset about this. My life has gone from a whirlwind of work and social life to looking for a job 5 hours a day most days and being a home maker the rest of the time. Those of you who know me best know that I need something to keep me busy, something to keep me occupied, structure; I need to have a job. It's what I've always done...sometimes I've had two at a time. I like to work. I CAN NOT believe I just uttered those four little words, but it's true, I like to work and earn a paycheck and buy myself shiny pretty things. It makes me feel like a productive member of society and gives me a feeling of being an independent woman that is able to provide for herself. Okay, that's all the negative things I have to say....pretty painless, right?



Here's the positives....

• I have weekends off and uninterrupted to spend with my boyfriend. Maryland and Virginia have beautiful mountains and valleys but I have never seen such wonders of nature like I have down here in Georgia. I am fortunate that I am getting see all of these things. Now that I am spending most weekends exploring Georgia, I am reminiscent of the time and all of the "life" that I missed out on in the past because I was so wrapped up in other stuff.



• I get to cook. I've discovered that I love to cook and I'm actually pretty good at it. I thought maybe I'd keep you abreast (heh, I said breast) (that was for you Nikki) of my "Adventures In Cooking" Lame, I know but humor me, I make some pretty good stuff.

• I get to work out, like for two hours a day. It's weird, I'm not losing weight at the rapid pace I did a year ago, but my muscles are definitely toned. Nevermind, it's not weird, that's what's supposed to happen, I just have never committed to exercise long enough to see results.



• I have a tan. I haven't had a tan like this since I lifeguarded 12 years ago. It's not like an end of the summer, not getting any darker, lifeguard tan, but I am tan. This is kind of monumental for me because I have spent that last 10 years or so indoors. With the exception of a day or two on the beach or one or two days poolside at my parents, I spent my twenties with a skin tone closely resembling that of Bill Compton. I feel healthy and I look healthy.



• I've got the time to get my life in order....fix things on my credit report, file papers, throw out unopened mail that I've been hauling around with me from storage unit to storage unit for the past 6 years. You should see the box of paperwork that needs to be shredded. There's so much of it I had to track down a professional shredding company that will do it for me.



• Get to know myself. This sounds like the ultimate cliche and is making me gag while typing it but I am going to force myself to say it anyway. I have discovered that I have a desire to be fiercely independent. Not having a job feels like I've lost my independence. The overwhelming desire to get back my independence is what makes me get out of bed in the morning and keep trying to find a job.

Tonight's dinner is chicken and sausage gumbo. Not sure if I'm going to like this...it has a shit ton of onions in it, okra and green peppers. I totes hate onions but will eat them sometimes. I can't define in what situations I will eat them, it just depends on how they were cooked, how stringy they are, if they had the shit cooked out of them and I don't even know they are there, etc. Raw onions are acceptable in salsas, etc. Anyway, pickled okra is fantastic in bloody mary's and fried okra is of course awesome, anything fried is usually awesome, but I've never had okra that's been stewing all day. I have gotten over my green pepper thing, I like them all ways, raw and cooked. Anyway, my first attempt at a roux this morning went very well, but the gumbo is not thickening to my liking. We'll see how this turns out. This might be a recipe I ditch.

I thought it would also be fun at times to attach pictures of things that I see down here that you wouldn't normally see back home.

First, we have this:

This photo was taken outside of our nearby grocery store, Kroger, as Bill and affectionately refer to it as, the Krogers. (as in, the walmarts, the kmarts). The old ladies down here insert "the" in front of a store name and add an "s" to the name of the store.





So, I'm walking to the Krogers as it's within walking distance of my apartment and I spot this gem written in what appears to be sidewalk chalk on the brick wall outside the store next in between the front door and a broke up generic soda machine.





I don't think I even need to comment further on this.








Next, we have another diddy that I found in the Krogers. This must be a southern thing because never in my life have I heard of nor seen such a thing....quite frankly, I am appalled.


That's right folks, you are not dreaming, this is aerosol pancake batter. I contemplated buying it just because i wanted to see what consistency the batter came out of the can looking like and I also contemplated buying it so I could use it as a food weapon against Bill.

I decided against it and opted for the Bisquik Shake n' Pour pancake batter (cause that's slightly less appalling).


That's all for today. I have some things to do around the apartment. Caio

Somebody has a serious case of the Mondays!

The holidays are over and I am bummed out. The family's gone, the baby is back in Delaware, the bf is back in Atlanta and who knows when we'll see each other again, the Christmas tree and all the decorations have come down, it's all over. Well, there is a rogue wreath on the wall in the foyer that was accidentally left up and a Santa wind chime left at the top of the stairs. Then there's the Christmas tree wind chime that has been up since last Christmas...it used to be where the Santa one is now, but sometime in mid-July, it got moved to the pot rack that hangs over the island in the kitchen. That's a nice place for an out of season decoration, don't you think? I think that Christmas time reminds everyone of the joy that our family and friends bring to us and when we find a misplaced ornament or decoration, we can't bear to put it away...at least in our house we can't.

I am little surprised at myself lately with the overwhelming sense of "family" I feel lately. I want to spend as much time as I can with my immediate and my extended family. I want them to know that I love them. I can't exactly say why, mainly because I don't have a reason, except that we're all getting older, and I don't' feel like I say it enough. It seems like everyone is getting sick, or their health is fading. Some are not able to care for themselves anymore and some are beginning to not be able to think for themselves anymore. Along with all the bad news, there's good news too...strong healthy babies were born this year that brought joy into our lives and make every one's day just a little bit brighter. It's gets harder to say good bye every time they leave.

I probably made one of the dumbest moves I could ever make in the history of mankind. I took a J-term class at FCC. It's a semesters worth of work jammed into two weeks in January. I'm going to go out on a limb here and just say it...I'm a fucking retard. Unfortunately, I had no choice really...well, I did, I could have taken it like 3 years ago when I started this program, but I chose to wait until the zero hour to wrap up my course work. Typical Tracy. Needless to say, I am a total stress case from now until January 16th when the final is due...and THEN, the Spring Semester starts...I'm taking my final 9 credits of course work and wait for it, wait for it...an internship that's worth 3 credits. Oh, and get this, I have to pay to do an internship, they charge you for the credits...at least that's my understanding. wtf is that? So basically, I have to come up with $1,200, book $, I'll be going to school full time, working full time and doing some intern work as well. Someone just come in here and shoot me now. Please? Anyone? Despite all my complaining, here's the positive perspective...I'll be able to graduate. True, it's only an Associates Degree, but still, it's something. Then I can move forward with the master plan. In the end, it will all be worth it. All the hard work, late nights, $$ spent, books bought needlessly, because, I can't tell you when the last time I've actually used a the textbook for a class I've taken, and tears will be worth it. Yes, I cry over this shit. It stresses me out and I want it to be over. I want to move on with my life. It's funny, I'll be immediately enrolling in a 4 year somewhere to get my bachelors, but I just have this personal goal that I need to finish, god dammit. One last positive thing...this J-term class...it's real estate law...I've got that shit in the bag. I've been working in real estate law in some form or another for the past 9 years. Schwing.

With that, it's late and I'm tired. My smelly dog has jumped up on the couch next to me. He's not supposed to be here, but I think he's really cute (I'm the only person that thinks so), so I'll let him stay just a few more minutes. I'll stop rambling for you Nikki, since I know you're the only one that reads this :o).

Why I Like My Boyfriend

Just as I was ready to have a major meltdown at work, Bill sends me this link out of the blue...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crop+dusting

No prior discussion on the subject had been had today. Guess he just knew I needed a laugh...either that or he's just as amused by farts as I am.

Carry on.

Road Rage

Dear Blue Station Wagon on the Rt. 7 Bypass in Leesburg,

My Passive Aggressive Road Rage is just as annoying as your Riding My Ass, Flashing Your High Beams At Me Road Rage. Just thought I'd remind you.

Here's the deal fuck face, it's raining out, the roads are slick, we JUST passed an accident, and you want me to go even faster? You can suck it. I'm already exceeding the speed limit. Yes, I did speed up so you couldn't pass me, that was a dick move on my part, but there is no need for you to be going that fast. Since you chose to ride my ass and flash your high beams, I chose to slow it down to the speed limit. I'm glad that you were finally able to pass me though, did that make you feel better?

It was nice to pull up behind you at the red light at Sycolin Road and see you again. Did you hear me tap my horn and see me wave at you in the rear view mirror? I hope you did, I think we shared something this morning...two very different types of road rage. You know what they say...Opposites attract ;o).

Since you were driving a station wagon, I hope you didn't have children in that car, asshole.

Drive safely,

Tracy

"You can pick it up on Sunday"

So as most of you know, I'm kind of a slave to my job. I don't know why, it's not a "sexy" job and it's not what I'm going to school for. It's a very difficult job in that I have to deal with so many different personalities and I've had to learn how to balance my personality with theirs to make a successful working relationship.

I often come into the office on the weekends to catch up on administrative tasks that I wasn't able to get to during the week due to numerous phone calls from angry homeowners or the "drop by" visits from contractors that break my concentration. I'm not married and I don't have any children so this isn't a hardship my non existent family. My boyfriend lives 643.86 miles away (yes, I've mapquested it) so it's not like I'm missing out on quality time with him. It is however, creating a "monster" out of my "clients."

Recently, I've received two, what I find to be, very disturbing emails. One of them read "You can pick them up on Sunday afternoon." This was in reference to two letters that needed signature from a client. The other read "Were you planning to drop them off during the week or on the weekend. " This was in reference to some reference materials for a client.

Have I created total monsters by replying to emails at 11 Pm and 5:30 AM, or answering my emails on Sunday afternoons? Have I given the impression that because I am single and do not have a family, that I am willing and pleased to work on the weekends...that I should come to your house and drop something off on a Sunday afternoon?

I envy my co-worker who leaves the office at 5 PM every day and doesn't come in on the weekends. She gets all of her work done. Why am I such a fanatic about this job? Why am I so obsessed? Why don't I put so much effort into my schooling or my personal relationships as I do for this job, which has clearly given me nothing more than the presumption that I am pleased to be at your service, 24/7.

Cherry Pop

So this is my first attempt at blogging. Sure, I've dabbled in it on myspace, but seriously, myspace is for suckers, oh, and 31 year old women like me who can't seem to delete that profile. But I digress...

I don't really have anything to write about at this moment, except that maybe I should be studying for mid terms. This is much more "exciting" than reading about billing and time sheets...or memorizing the Bill of Rights.

Here are some up and coming topics of discussion I will be writing about:

• My sisters wedding
• My job

standby...

tk